So yes, I posted this on Instagram but I have added a few more sentences towards the end. I hope you like that. And don’t forget to let me know if you do. Also, I hope you’re enjoying the open letter series.
Swallowing words, stuttering syllables, and awkward laughter, talking to you was daunting. They say repetition makes it meaningless, but darling, I have spoken to you and of you, countless times and words still die before they reach the tip of my tongue. I tiptoe around sensitive topics, still scared that I might disappoint you, that I might utter something so outrageous that you will cut our once in a blue moon conversation short with a ‘gtg.’ I admit having rehearsed our meetings to the point that I knew your next move even before you did. I have spent hours analyzing our equation, rewriting this, trying to find the right words and after the 9th time, I still can’t find a way to say goodbye. Being ‘not enough’ is excruciatingly painful. Obsoleting that one photograph where our faces are grinning wide with the diminutive poetries I write about you. The poems filled with rage, fear and unanswered questions leaking through the sides of the slightly burnt piece of white paper. Your conspicuous laughter still echoes in my ears. And after scrubbing my skin with hot water your touch still lingers in places I dare not flaunt. The haunting memories of the day you made me feel worthless are etched in my memory as a reminder to not give into your spellbinding charm. Yet deep inside I know that if you look at me with those hazel eyes and smile, in a way that makes my knees go weak I will crawl my way back to you, shamelessly. You left me like the stars do when the sun decides to wake up. You took away the coldness of the night and loneliness the dark holds. Your absence has shown me a new light. A new warmth. You were my secret. I am aware that our story, although written with good intentions and stuffed with Shakespearean romance, was filled with loopholes and unnecessary metaphors. Now I watch the sunshine, my eyes hold a new light. Your presence was cold, distant and it made me an emotional wreck. On the contrary, your absence is like a breath of fresh air. But every twenty-four hours show both sides of you. And the night is when I miss you, the sweet nothings whispered with trembling lips and the smoke making shapes in the thick air. The day and night play their games, I sacrifice myself to amuse them. They like playing with me and I like being played. I guess it’s just another game of give and take, I give my sanity to keep you awake. You arrive, when the night comes, I shy away to hide in the arms of my beloved. The one who promises me the dark gloomy days. Tell my beloved I tried. Tell him the dark has never favored him and this is just another lonely night.
Okay, this will be the last he/she/love/heartbreak fiction piece for a while. I am bored of it and I really want to try different forms of writing. Don’t get me wrong, I will come back to this but after a ‘while’. I will link down a few other fiction pieces you would like to read –
My social media links are –
And until next time……….