When do you know that you are not lost anymore? When do you know that you have healed? When do you know that from now on you don’t have to cry yourself to sleep every single night? Tell me at what point do you start listening to that song again because now those memories of his, they don’t haunt you. Now that song is no more about just being his favorite. You can listen to it because anything of his doesn’t affect you anymore. When do you know that you are not broken anymore? And that maybe, just maybe you can be repaired. When do you know that you are ready to open up to people and they won’t turn their back towards you? When do you know that some people will accept you with all your baggage? When do you know that it’s okay and that you don’t have to cut yourself? That those scars will now choose to fade, cause you are getting better with time. Does it actually get better? No, probably not. Not unless you actually do something about it. But it’s not that easy, right? And you probably learn to live like that. You probably live every day being lost, broken beyond repair and the worst scenario, you don’t live like this, you end it. Cause the reality of everything is plain horrible. And that you don’t want to see the sunrise tomorrow. Does it really matter, you can finally be free, you can end it all? But you don’t do that. You talk yourself out of it. You promise yourself about a better future, you promise yourself that not ending it now is going to be so worth it in life ahead. And that is okay for a day or two. By the third day, you are back at square one. Going through this vicious cycle, repeatedly. Living like, this comes effortlessly to you now. Numbness becomes second nature and change seems scary. And inevitably you become a part of this faceless crowd.
Hello fellow earth beings,
I hope you like this and I have a life update post coming real soon.
My last post is here.
And until next time……..