I Am Sorry. | Poem

I am sorry

“I am sorry,” I tell them every time,

It’s just that my insecurities they haunt me. 

Every night is a battle, they swallow my rational mind and fill it with ways to escape this torture. 

I am sorry, I react wildly every time my insecurity is mentioned as a joke that yearns for laughter. 

It’s not funny, I want to say but I laugh along instead. 

I am sorry, I tell my father in the morning after last night’s fight when words with zero value were exchanged from both sides. 

I am sorry, I tell my mother who wonders as to why her delicate daughter,

Is suddenly talking about equality, discrimination, rape, and slaughter. 

I am sorry, I tell my brother who although younger has matured into a young man. 

I am sorry, I am not the sister you asked for in your letters to Santa. 

I am sorry, I tell my friends for being awkward, weird, and so goddamn annoying,

I am sorry, I know no other way. 

I am sorry, I don’t reply to your messages I am struggling to beat my insecurities and sometimes they appear in the day.  

I am sorry, I tell the world for always rebelling and never learning from experiences. 

I am sorry, I  to seem live in my head and put my foot in my mouth at times that I highly regret. 

I am sorry, I tell him for I have been avoiding him like the plague, 

I just ain’t made from the same material. 

I am sorry because I am not the perfect daughter, sister, friend and girl you want me to be, 

I just can’t do my duties after spending endless nights overthinking every word, phrase, and action you unintentionally laid. 

Finally, I am sorry I tell her, she who wants me to be okay and love myself,

She who also is the reason of my all insecurities and constant melancholy. 

I am sorry I tell myself, 

I love you but not enough to heal you.

I care for you but not enough to protect you. 

I respect you but not enough to appreciate you. 

I miss you but just not enough to let you be you. 

 

My last post is here.

Also, you should totally go read this – He, She and Who?

My social media links are :-
Twitter : @scribledreams || Instagram : @scribledreams ||  Email me at – scribledreams@gmail.com

 

 

 

And until next time……

7 Comment

  1. SWAYAM says: Reply

    Hi, Tanyy. Long time no see. Well, this is nice. I like the way ye penned it.

    1. Tanya says: Reply

      Heyy, yea you’re busy. And thank you. ☺️

  2. Wow. So amazing, I love it so much. I can really empathise with you on this ❤️
    https://foxinthought.blogspot.ie/

    1. Tanya says: Reply

      Thank you so much. And I am glad you could relate. 😀

  3. You described every bit of feeling that a person struggles through everyday. Being the way all wants us to be, Not loving ourselves and pretending to be else. What a weird world??? What a hypocrite world?

  4. Puneet says: Reply

    Wow. Written exceptionally well. I loved it. On a lighter note that’s a lot of sorry.

    1. Tanya says: Reply

      Thank you and lol I agree. I must be very apologetic when I wrote this.

Did you like this? Comment your views here.