Look Me Through – Chapter 5 


I saw a comment on my latest blog post. When I opened it I noticed just like the other multiple comments, this one too was asking me about who the subject of the poem was. They really can’t expect me to tell them now, can they?
Avni Rajput, my major and only crush since my college days. She was mainly the reason why I never was interested in all the girls my brother tried to make me date. Of course, it absolutely didn’t help with the fact that I was socially awkward. I had tried speaking to her once but that ended up in a disaster. After that, I never had the opportunity to speak to her again mainly due to the fact that she was friends with Swayam’s ex. Of course, my poetry was at an all time high at that time, given she was my muse. But once college got over, my crush slowly wore off and I gradually stopped writing about her. And then the college reunion happened and everything came flooding back to me. Including how I felt about her except this time, my sweet charming brother was into her too. However, I knew my bro wouldn’t be interested in her for too long. It just wasn’t in his nature. But as long as he was with her, I would be content with just writing about her. I looked at my latest bit of poetry which I would publish tonight.

And in this vicious cycle of love

Lay a soul entrapped

Namely me

Charmed by unrequited love

And boundless romance

Of rendezvous meetings 

And jaded traps

Of such daydreams, I sought

Maybe I lay in a possible reality?”

I sighed. Kinda annoying to write about a person who would never return your love. And this time, the emotions were more intense. Something about being an adult and having experienced life makes you realize how much you long for love. I looked at the sleeping Swayam beside me. He was content, well for now.
I shouted into his ears,” Wakey-wakey dear brother of mine!”. Swayam let out a grunt and said,”Five more minutes Shrey, just five more minutes.”
“Absolutely not! Today is the day you get to meet Avni or have you forgotten?”
That sentence seemed to jolt him straight up. When he realized what he had done, he tried to act casual about it.
“Oh yeah, we have to meet her today, right? Ahh, I’m going to charm her just like the rest of all the women I’ve dated.”
I stared at him. Was my brother actually blushing a bit? No, that isn’t possible. Avni is just another chick for him.
“Alright, let’s go and get ready for work, mom has some work today so she has already left the house.”
“Wor-“, realization dawned onto his face, ” Oh yes, we have to go to work first. We’re meeting Avni in the evening. ”
I chuckled. My brother could be an airhead sometimes.


Avni was already waiting for us when we reached the café. She waved at us and said,”Hey guys, I just arrived. Swayam told me that you guys would be a bit late due to work so I figured I could take my time too.”
Swayam cheerily replied,” Yes, that is totally cool. We couldn’t wait to meet you.”
As we headed in, I whispered into Swayam’s ears, “You mean, you couldn’t wait to meet her.” I grunted as he elbowed me in my ribs.

Avni who had just finished placing the order turned around and said,” I just ordered one of everything if you guys don’t mind. I’m ravished.”
I said,”Nice, always good to get fatter and die earlier right?” She just gave a weird look while my brother laughed awkwardly. I really shouldn’t have said that. What the hell was I thinking?!
We took our seats and of course got a few stares in the process. But we were used to it by now. Almost immediately Avni and Swayam started exchanging stories back and forth. How did they do this so flawlessly was beyond me. I would add in a bit every once in a while especially when my brother started to exaggerate some of them but mostly I remained zoned out and deep in my own thoughts. Well, I did until Swayam asked her about what had happened in the mall. Avni looked at us a bit awkwardly before telling us everything about her ex. By the time she finished, we both were equally horrified.
I was the first one to break the silence,”Umm…that is a terrible thing to happen to anyone. I’m glad you’re done with that bastard.”
Avni looked at me sheepishly. “Yeah..”, she trailed off. I looked to my side to see my brother brimming with anger. ” I’ll pummel that jerk into the fucking ground. Just give me his address.” Usually, I would try to calm him down but I was equally pissed this time. Avni looked taken aback. “No there is no need for that. It’s all over now. Please Swayam, calm down.”
“Why the fuck do such people exist in this world?”, Swayam said angrily. People started to look at us and I kept my hand on his shoulder. This seemed to calm him down a bit.

A long silence ensued after that. Suddenly Avni’s phone started ringing. She looked at the caller ID and said,” Looks like I have to leave. I have some work to do.”
Swayam who was a bit embarrassed about the earlier incident said, ” This was fun, maybe we could do this again sometime? ”
He looked at her hopefully and was rewarded with a smile.
“That would be really nice. Today was fun.”
With that, we said our goodbyes. As she waved I noticed a few faded scars on her wrist. I thought about asking her about it but then decided against it. It wasn’t my business to peep into that stuff. But by the looks of it, we are going to be meeting her again. Meaning my brother is going to try and get me another woman so that we could double date. I do not look forward to this.

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