Rather Be Honest (Poem) | Guest Post

Rather Be Honest (Poem) | Guest Post

Hey! You crazy lot. Guess what? I am trading guest posts with Nisaa and we have written poems for each other’s blog. She is wonderful and such a beautiful soul. Read her poem and see it for yourself. I mean this poem is perfect and it really hits you. Go to her blog The Down Deep to read my poem To The Girls Who Fall In Love With Him (And while you’re there go follow Nisaa, Okay?)

Without any further interruptions presenting Rather Be Honest by Nisaa Pender

I am so afraid of not being afraid of something

So afraid of not being ashamed

16 years, and quite frankly I haven’t progressed from the question

Who am I to love? To be loved?

In my holy book, there is no pedestal for dirty feet 

Who am I to amount?

To be, more than pretty lashes and aligned white teeth?

I am afraid of recognition, of comfortable

Humility is the fabric of my tendons

Spiritual arthritis runs through me like blood

Like vein-ity.

 

My father just wants me to be happy

But I rather be honest

Maybe I could be a Goddess of vulnerability

Of insecurity and invisibility

I rather be God

Because no one listens to the virgin girl when she speaks

They just fuck her

Open legs bring closure to nostalgic men

 

And so virginity is nothing to be kept

But fear is

I know

The minute I find a home in chance, in peril

Throats will break,

Like stilettos and the spines of books

I’ll tie nooses around my neck in my sleep

Like I’m making a dream come true

Suicide is for the fearless and the weak

And if I was unafraid,

I would be closer to God than I’ve ever been

Trading aspiration and board games for angel wings

 

I rather be honest

I’m not suicidal

Or depressed

But I want to die at my own mercy

Be the girl who disregards the fear of consequence

And overlooks all the people she might ruin

 

But to be honest, I am afraid

I still believe in things like a single God, like a separate God

And the fact that dying is something you have to be ready for

Or satisfied with

I am too afraid to blame nostalgia

Or to stain

My problems and my tendons

On the tiles in the master bathroom

Too afraid to forget how to love

Or forget how to smile

Which, if I did,

Would amount to nothing more

Than a waste of money

On these teeth.

WOW! I know right? This girl just takes you places with her poetry. To be honest, I feel honored to have her poem on my blog. Thank you, Nisaa. And y’all this is not the end of us collaborating. We have something big planned, which will be coming up pretty soon. So, keep an eye out for that. Also, while you’re here follow Nisaa on her Instagram and on her Twitter.

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